Why are there hypocritical hippies?

There are all kinds of "save the environment" bumper stickers. These are fine with me. They're sanctimonious and irritating, but they're not as bad as some--generally the ones to do with Jesus (either pro- or anti-). If you want to save the environment, that's all right as long as you don't introduce fascistic laws. I'm often in favor of things that reduce waste.

But sometimes these stickers are on the back of SUVs. Now, there are reasons to own SUVs. For instance, you may cross Persia on a weekly basis. You may ski all the time. You may own a horse. You may have to transport something large that requires climate control. These are all good reasons to own a gigantic car.

Still, I don't really understand the urge. Don't try to tell me you think they're nice-looking cars. I'm pretty sure that every make that manufactures an SUV has a much more attractive smaller car (except Jeep and Land Rover, because they don't make smaller cars at all). Of course, if you want an SUV, you are entitled to own one. It's a free country.

But to put a "save the environment" sticker on it? Whom do you think you're kidding? Do you not see the cognitive disjoint? And for the record, buying carbon off-sets is not the same as reducing your carbon footprint. It's like buying indulgences from the Pope; you're still vice-ridden and vile.

Closely analogous to this is the hybrid SUV. Now, yes, clearly a hybrid SUV is cleaner than the alternative. But it's still less fuel-efficient than a ten-year-old sedan. Since fuel efficiency is important to you--you bought a hybrid--you fail at your own game. Unless you actually need an SUV, you are still firmly on the side of the devils.

Now, I hate hippies all the time. But when the hippies spray sanctimony all over me and then turn around and spray pollutants into the air, I get even more hateful. I'd invent the word "hippiecritical," but someone might have already, and quite frankly it makes me a little sick inside.