Why do people mix up knives for cheese?

There are times in every man's life when he is presented with an array of cheeses. Depending on the perversity of his hostess, he will either be forced to eat blue cheese or he will not. In any case, he is welcome and encouraged to partake of all the varieties. Crackers and breads have been carefully chosen to complement the flavors.

And, one hopes, his hostess has provided sufficient knives for the cheese. One knife per cheese, that is. There's a reason for this.

Some cheeses are subtle. Your bries, for instance, or your Port Salut. Some cheeses are not subtle. Your blues, I'm thinking, or your aged cheddars.

So what happens when you use the blue cheese knife for the brie? Disaster, that's what. Now the brie is ruined for everyone, and you have a bastardized knife, useless for any purpose. The party is now one knife short, and musical cheese knives is no fun for anyone.

Your hostess should not have to buy those tacky knives that have the cheese variety written on them in a pseudo-French script. You should just not be a failure.