Monday, January 11, 2010

Why does Gus the Groundhog appear on my television?

I, naturally, disapprove of the state lottery. I don't live in a banana republic, and I dislike the trappings of one. The lottery is particularly repugnant, being a tax largely on the ignorant and unhappy poor.

But I could just ignore the lottery itself and be puritanical about something else, if the horrible mangy excrescence that is Gus the Groundhog did not appear in television commercials. First, there are no groundhogs who are not Punxsutawney Phil. Second, even if there are, they don't hawk lottery tickets to tasteless and apparently deaf morons.

Is it supposed to be cute? It's not. Is it supposed to be clever? It's not. Is it supposed to be appealing in any way, shape, or form? Because it most certainly is not. It's a flea-ridden, turpitude-peddling, ear- and eye-assaulting skunk. Only without a skunk's good points.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

eff gus!!!

reina said...

I friggin' hate Gus, and his retarded family.

Steenwes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Gus votes for Obama.