Thursday, September 16, 2010

Why doesn't Robert Jordan even try at all?

So you're writing a fantasy series. And, naturally, you need a quasi-divine being of unspeakable evil. But, dash it all, "Morgoth" and "Sauron" are already taken.

Never fear, "Satan" and "Beelzebub" are still available! Wait...you're saying that "Shai'tan" and "Ba'alzamon" are different? Really? Some paltry vowel shifts? That's all you have to throw at me?

So you don't have the linguistic chops to make up an entire language that doesn't sound ridiculously stupid (and, yes, in case you were wondering, "Nynaeve" is an unbelievably terrible name and in fact looks like you just took "Vivian" and shook it, which is what I'm pretty sure you did, since you stole from Arthurian legend in other places). That's cool. Few of us do. But don't pretend.

Oh, and Artur Paendrag [Tanreall]? I am so fooled by you and your sneaky extra name and your Welsh.

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