Today I got an e-mail from the American Academy in Rome, thanking me for my support. Now, I was pretty sure I hadn't sent them anything, but I have a history of donating money to various organizations while intoxicated (and I am at my most generous when squiffy), so the possibility still existed.
When I opened the e-mail, it was clear that they merely wanted me to send them money, and my heart rate went back to normal. Still, I could have done without that few minutes of panic.
Nobody is suckered by false gratitude in advance, chumps. Don't do it.
(Another favorite: Brooks Brothers has my e-mail address on file for my father's orders, so I was once out of town and got an e-mail that my order had been processed. I thought my giving-to-charity-when-drunk impulse had been replaced by a tendency to order expensive clothes when blotto, and that, my friends, would have been an alarming development.)
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